The best thing I do these days is WAITING.
Waiting for emails, waiting for people to reply, waiting for companies to reply. It really tests my patience, because I have nothing else to do other then WAIT. I think I am most patient person on the face of this earth now.
And while this waiting period, I was quite stressed up. Never mind everyone thinks I am doing NOTHING everyday, I’m pretty sure I am doing something. I always remind myself, everything takes time. Research, setting up, talk to people all takes time. Let’s not forget making decisions. I am not very good at making decisions because I fear them, fear making decisions, fear making the wrong decisions, fear even thinking of it. My imagination runs wild when it starts, fear of failure. One by one I am making these decisions, from big ones to small ones, learning how to enjoy the good ones and cope with the not so good ones.
And these days, I spend the first hour of the day after breakfast to spend time with God’s word, it gives me the courage and motivation. Easily, I can fall back into Oh goodness I am not so good at this and that. I can truly tell you that I been stressed, worried, unsure where I am heading towards, whats going to happen, etc. So much so that I have bouts of sickness, and things I don’t feel before. At random days I will have a sore throat, pheglm,coughing, random fluish days, another day my knees would hurt, another day my shoulder is tensed, just don’t feel well days, and just recently my eye would be twitching the whole day – for 2 days actually. When I google – twitching eye lid, it clearly says stress, anxiety or dry eyes. (I had dry eyes after lasik but NEVER had twitching at all.) This is the first time its twitching constantly the entire day.
And sometimes I think God sends me his reminders, I chanced upon Joyce meyer’s sermon on worry. Leave it to God, trust in Him when you don’t understand, stop trying to figure out this and that. Take no thought.
Right now, I am waiting for a new jewelry label I have approached, and really anxiously waiting for their reply for 3 days already. It might be the cause of my twitching eye. I suddenly thought of the verse that is the theme this year, He will open the doors that no one can shut, and He will shut the doors no one can open. Reminding me that I can stop worrying about it already, if it is a brand good for my store to carry, I will get it.
Now, lets stop thinking about it and get ready for dinner! :’)