How to do Goal Setting?

(This is taken from a post on 11th Jan 2018 I have from another micro blogging site i used for a year, which is going to be shut down soon, and i decided to port everything that I think is useful back to my blog here!)

Its 2018.. and Have you all done your goals for 2018?

So i’m not the kind who do goals actually, i’m more of the lax kind, see what then do what. But i start to see that it is impt to set goals to feel and be accomplished at the end of the year.

I thought to share how to do goal setting since we are at the start of the year.

I came across Lara Casey Blog (Laracasey.com/blog) a few years ago, i think about 3 years? And I found her goal setting series very useful. Not to say, that some are quite daunting so i guess not everything will work for you too. She has these set of powersheets where it guides you to write down your thoughts and dreams, then your goals and how you are faring with your goals throughout the year.

Honestly it was very very daunting and hard when i first tried it and after awhile i gave up, because it felt very rigid and scary in a sense.

This year i decided to pick it up again, went to her blog and filter what i needed and just cut out some parts where i think it’s not that relevant to me because it only stresses me out instead of being helpful.

So here’s like an “edited” version from her goal setting series that i think will work for me, and i probably also added in some stuff myself.

and by the way, she has this really good book that i read and found it really useful to build my confidence when and in running my own business, take charge of some of the things in my life. If you are someone who is looking for a change in your life, or just want to be better at something/career/hobby/person, you can check out her book. This is not all about business, but more like personal.

Some of us kind of just sail through life without being present and then when we know it, we realize what have we been doing?? So hopefully if that’s you or not, this book might help.

 

———

 1. Review the last year

 

So take time to go through what you did last year, events, milestones, activities, travels, stuff like that. So you can see what big or small thing that you did in each month so you see where you spent your time on. Don’t have to list everything, just things you remember or want to remember.

For me, in Jan i celebrated my 30th bday with a unicorn theme party, thanks to my friends & family it was a blast.

In Feb, started a new pop up place, joined General assembly as digital marketing teaching assistant, and rehomed 4 cats (mother & 3 kittens) That really took most of my time! haha!

In April, we went to Phuket our first resort holiday and got our house keys. And in May – we started the renovation, did another class at GA, met up with some of the girls for a Dayre Flea, and went on a trip with my closest friends for Yoges’s hen’s trip in Hk. (its been 2/3 years since we traveled together!)

So and so.. forth i did this. Well there’s probably some bad stuff happening in between but honestly i can’t remember other then reno being super stressful time for me.

And then, i wrote down how i felt / feelings and thoughts in some of these events – happy / sad: etc. This is to check if i enjoyed what i did, if i want to do more of it this year. And if there’s anything i didn’t enjoy, i would want to stop or do less of this year.

 2. Reflect & Thoughts on Personal, Work, Relationships, Spiritual, Health, Finance, Travel. 

For me these are the things that are important for me. Travel is not so much because i don’t have a list or bucket list of cities / countries that i want to go, and don’t have a thing where i must travel X times a year. But if it’s something that you do then put it in.

So you might have more categories or less depending on how you center your life around. Perhaps for you, you have a hobby or a side business then add that in. You might not place much emphasis on spiritual or relationships or anything up here then remove them as well.

So for me personal are like my own being as a person – my emotions, my feelings, my thoughts, how i think about myself, how i feel about myself.

Many of us compare ourselves to others right? So there was one year where i kept having this FOMO of not being at the events/networking where other successful business people were. I kept looking at their IG and see what they are up and thinking if i’m not there, i’m missing out on some learning or something, or they will be more sucessful/ smarter.

At the end of the year I learnt that it was making me feel very unhappy and left out, and also does not mean that every event is for me. As saying no is as impt as saying yes, being selective to going for events and networking sessions is as important. So i stopped being “jealous” of them.

Every year there’s something to “get over”, or “grow out of” for me, some struggle or something that bugs me or something i’m trying to make a decision on how i feel about it.

Last year, i was struggling with identity. I kept seeing this person and that person doing great work, very meaningful, very purposeful. Like changing the world (sort of) and i m like i want to be like her. and Her. and Her. and live her life. It’s very strange to say this but after that i was very confused hahah.

Like who exactly do i want to be like…? And it technically isn’t impossible to follow/ copy what they do because anything is possible, but do i really enjoy what they do and their life? i’m not talking abt the “high life” but life related to their work (like being so meaningful, having a part to play in this world) So i’m not going to say who, but obviously i met some of them. sort ofc i look up to them because they look like they really enjoy their work and work is intertwined with life.

And then at the end of the year, something click in me (after much thoughts, prayers etc) that i’m not exactly like them and everyone has different opportunities and interests. I could look up to them but no needing to go to the point where i “copy” them.

And it was time to really create the work and life i wanted.. not what other people have.

So the same for Work – ask yourself questions like are you satisfied? What were you happy with at work / for work? Is there anything you can improve, do better this year? Anything you want to see yourself change from, or push yourself to a new level. If past year was very shaky for you then you can choose to take it easy and “stable”.

E.G alvin took up some certifications related to his job, and after getting 1, he rests for a few month before pursuing another. It could be year(s) for some.

These reflections will kind of lead you to think what you want to do / what goals you want to set for this year.

In health- how are you? Been exercising regularly? Happy with your current level of fitness? or you feel you been quite sick and eating a lot of junky stuff last year. How do you feel about it? Are you sleeping well the past year and if you need to sleep earlier..

For me, i’m pretty happy status quo, doing 1-2 times workout a week and then walking or jogging 1-2 times a week. I track my exercise with Endomondo App so at the end of the month i can see how many times i exercised and it’s very satisfying to see yourself chalk up the number of clock ins.

In terms of Spiritual, how was the past year been for you? And do you feel you need more?

For me i joined BSF (bible study) somewhere end of last year and it was probably the craziest thing we done (mel & i) we went in not knowing what to expect.. and we came out making new friends and picking up a greater understanding of the word and signing up for BSF again this year.

And also i felt that i was very weak in many areas especially trusting God … with my reno. So, do this for all the categories above and you sort of start to see slowly your goals coming out for this year, from what you went through last year .

 

Focus on 
– What are you grateful for, went well for in this area?
– What are the challenges you faced in this area?

 3. Intentional Goals

So it’s easy to just say i want to lose 4kg this year. I need to exercise more this year, i need to save more this year.

But we gotta dig deep and find out WHY you want to do it exactly and not superficial like i wanna be slim. It is more like – I want to be healthy so i can live a good life, able to spend time with my family, feel good about my body and can live a long satisfying life. Something like that .. okay? Sort of i hope you get it. Haha!

List down a few Goal Ideas, big pictures / words, don’t need to be specific yet and then ponder on it for a few days.

Example if “Life” has been on your mind.. like looking for a purpose in life, or wanting to enjoy your life more. Just write life and jot down a few ideas below it.

And then think about it more specially what exactly in “Life” you want to achieve or improve on and fill in the below

Goal :

Why :

The positive effect taking action on this goal may have on my life/others (How it will impact me/others) :

How i will feel at the end of this year having made progesss on this goal :

Starting Steps :

How I will know I accomplished or made progress on the goal :

Encouraging words / quotes / bible verses (whatsver that will encourage you) :

How I will celebrate at the end of 2018 :

For Me

 

So i have 3 major goals this year. I mean too many also can be exhausting right? Let me share one of it..!

Goal : To start writing as a hobby / for leisure again.

Why : I always loved writing, and enjoyed it a lot. But i stopped for many years and i want to start again. I miss doing something purely for enjoyment (and maybe destressing) and i always wanted to write a book / publish a book. It’s something i “always” wanted to do but only thought about it, so i should do something about it, this as a start. (ok pardon me but this doesn’t sound like a very good why but i can’t explain more why.. i just really want to do it purely for enjoyment, and also perhaps for others to read something interesting!) The impact it will have on me / others : it’s a step

closer to my book “dream”.

How i will feel at the end of the year : i will look back and see how many stories / articles i wrote and feeling proud that i wrote more compared to last year 0.

Starting steps : Set a 30 day challenge and write anything for 300-500 words a day.

How i will know i made progress : I will have a folder in my computer with doc files filled with short stories / articles in them. If it’s decent, i’ll share online and let others read.

Encouraging words : This one i need to come back to it

How i will celebrate at the end of 2018 : Let people / someone read my stories / story. (Hopefully a decent story comes out of it). hahahahahahaha Compile into a book and give to people for Christmas 😂😂😂

I am not limiting myself to articles as well, articles that may help others (like this one??) The why is because i think it will really help some or even 1 person.

So anyway this is just an example of mine. If you want a better one, please go to Lara Casey Blog in her Part 5 – she explains it more clearly.

Then fill up how many goals u want!

For me this year i have 4 goals but of which the last one is something not as important (i think.. for now).

 4. Tips to remember for goals 

(All the quoted ones are from Lara Casey website, and the non quoted ones are my own opinions/sharing what i do)

1. Set goals that mean something to you.

Don’t create goals out of comparison or guilt, do good goals that really make your life better.

2. Break it down

Break down your goals into small chunks like getting started, first step, second step.. and slowly add on.

3. Choose one goal as your priority

“It is okay to grow slow. In fact, it’s really good. The recipe for burnout is to try to make progress on ALL of your goals at once. Choose just one goal as your priority this month. That doesn’t mean you can’t work on others, but choose one to really sink your teeth into this month. If your goals truly matter to you now, they’re still going to matter to you next month, or whenever you choose to work on them.

Grow slow and steady to give things time to grow well.”

This one i found it super super useful because i was just trying to do everything before i saw Lara Casey’s this tip. It’s so true that we only can focus on 1 thing at a time and it is okay to pick 1 goal and work on it as a top priority for that month. (or 2 mths if you wish) Or if you ranked your goals in terms of which is most impt to spend most time on, then this works too.

I was wondering HOW am i suppose to read, write, pick up some new financial knowledge on top of that do house hold chores after work eveyday? There’s just not enough time to do everything!

Of course someone just said – don’t sleep lor. LOL That’s not very helpful right?

4. Embrace progress, not perfection

When we first start on something new like, wanting to exercise 3 times a week, at times we only can do 2.. because too tired. Or we don’t jog as for as long as we like – say 30 mins but we only can do 15 mins. Do it slowly, first month – do 2 times a week of 15 mins, then 3 times a week or 15 mins. Then slowly lengthen the duration as weeks pass. It helps to not be so stressed up about getting it perfect.

5. Keep going at it

Sometimes we might say go on a holiday or suddenly work trip and we have to skip the exercise routine, but it is okay! don’t beat yourself up. Just keep going and small consistency over time counts a lot.

6. Embrace your season.

“No other tip gives me more freedom and joy in goal setting than this: we were made for seasons. Lose the goal-setting pressure by embracing this truth. You don’t have to set a goal for all of time. Your goals may grow and change as you do.

Choose a date every 3 mths after your goals to do “Goal Refresh” on those dates (Include a post-it note with these questions to ask yourself about each of your goals: Does this goal still matter to me? Why? Is there anything holding me back from making progress? What little-by-little progress have I made so far? Are there any goals I need to let go of, tweak, or add?)”

Sometimes our goals may not be that impt anymore after 6 mths or we feel like we need to refine the goal abit. Be free to do that because we all go through seasons in life, for example perhaps you find that exercise 2 times a week is good for you and you are happy with it, and wants to focus on something else. Or you planned to jog x3 a week and you kinda prefer to swim. So that’s fine!

7. Set yourself up for success

“When you are growing something new, weeds are bound to pop up and try to suck the life out of what you’re growing. So, set yourself up for success and don’t let the distractions try to throw you off track on your goals!

I have installed WasteNoTime for Safari (allows you to limit usage of certain websites), Ad Blocker Plus for Safari (removes banner ads that try to pull your eyes away from what you’re reading), and Newsfeed Eradicator for Chrome (removes your Facebook newsfeed and replaces it with an inspiring quote—genius!).”

I’m not as hardcore as her! for me, i get super distracted with Social Media like Dayre hahaha and IG stories.. and also i spent A lot of time on whatsapp messaging people.. partly maybe i’m abit lonely since i moved to my own home and i find myself losing time.

So i will try to write every few days only and also put my phone aside / not start convos with friends on whatsapp when i’m supposed to be doing work! And not spend my time pressing on IG story unless i have set aside time for that.

This applies not only for big goals but small things as well.

One of the thing that i wanted to do was to sleep at 11pm (or at least midnight) because there was many days recently like a week or 2 ago, where i ended up sleeping at 1am plus plus and felt so shitty the next morning and my eyes were really tired. it was like i was so “busy” don’t know doing what untill so late then still wanted to read so like argh man!

So i mentally made a note to start settling down earlier. i set an alarm on iphone at 10.45pm to tell me that’ it’s almost 11pm and to wrap up whatever thing i am doing to go bed at 11pm.

So far i been pushing it to 11.45 or 12.15pm but the alarm still goes off at 10.45 pm. it gives me like a mental prep to tell me it’s almost time to sleep, start doing one last thing – usually reading and that’s it.

So this includes also number 4- where i’m making progress that i started to sleep earlier and not having tired eyes and feeling tired the next day. So i’m tweaking and thinkng perhaps by certain time i need to have showered and by a certain time i should be starting to read already. So let’s see how this goes! And perhaps i don’t need to be so strict that i have to sleep at 11am, maybe sometimes 1130pm or 1145 is fine, as long as it’s not 1/2am like before.

8. Put your goals front and center

“One of the main reasons goals don’t get accomplished may seem silly, but it’s true (and I’ve fallen victim to this in years-past!): we flat-out forget about our goals. Out of sight, out of mind. We do whatever is habit instead. But, we aren’t going to let that happen in 2018, are we?! Have your goals out in the open and written everywhere and anywhere!”

9. Cultivate your calendar

“Whether you use a digital calendar like iCal or a physical day planner, fill your calendar with what matters (your goal action steps, rest time, time for relationships) before it gets filled with all the other things of life.”

Write all your TO DOs that are your goal related for the day in that day in the calendar. So when i was trying to get into a exercise routine, i do write “Go for jogging” on the days i want to exercise and tick them off after!

And i mentally made sure i postpone the jog to the next day or push it to the day before if i have to do something that day – like meet a friend for dinner or attend a workshop. So that i don’t lose that jog, instead “replace” it on another day.

10. Think outside the box

Instead of reading, try listening instead to a book. Instead of reading at home, if you travel on bus or mrt, try reading a little during the journey. all these add up.

For me, i haven’t figured out how to get creative with my goals yet haha! Maybe write a little while

okay i think that’s it!

Hope this has been helpful for anyone who starting to really do goals, if you just pick 1 thing to try and see how far you come at the end of the year, i hope you feel satisfied and it’s good to see!

it’s been a long post!

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