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Turning 30, I feel that the milestone is really for my parents. This year is also the year that I will move out of my home, and into a new one with Alvin. This is probably the biggest thing for me rather then turning 30, I would say is to move away from my parents and the room and house I call home for 30 years. My first thought was not about me but the people around me, this 30th. Mainly my parents, and my friends, specially my best friend, Alvin. Say not that much of alvin but he has shaped alot of how I am in the later parts of my years. Come to think of it at the end of this year is also the 10th year of us being together as a couple,  we celebrated with our wedding with a bang, I am satisfied with it and I always hug him to show that I appreciate him heh. But for most part of my life, my parents and my best friend were the ones that was there, walking the journey with me. For that, I am so thankful and grateful that God has kept us together, kept these people close to me, and for giving me a whole family. Something as simple as having a whole family is one that I never thought much about until now, where we don’t think much of but is a luxury and something impossible for some kids, to have and live with both their parents.

I hope that my parents see my 30th as their milestone, bringing a human being up, from the time I was a problematic baby and not a very healthy one at that. I think they did quite a pretty good job with me, raising me up, with values and morals. I say that they never discounted anything in my life, gave me all that I needed and even wanted. The hardest part is probably letting go of me, and letting me do my own stuff even though I still stay under their roof. Now that I am married, most part of my schedule and time revolves around Alvin and my business, we do most things together.

One big reason for me taking the leap into business, although everything was very uncertain was my parents support. Both of them say yes I should try and not once they ever discouraged me or told me that I was being silly, or asked me to go look for a job. I know, in the end even if it failed or I go broke, I still live in their house and eat their food. The other was Alvin of course, one who would have to feed me when we move out. Sometimes these people have more faith in what I am, and what I can do then myself. We all need these people in our lives.

For my friends, those who been through with me, know my quirks, accept me for who i am. And mel who’s been there all along, ups and downs in my life. Good thing we both are decent people and not havoc. I guess for that both our parents should thank each other that they raised us up well, and we found each other. We used to change best friends in Primary school, but little did I know is when two people have some sort of chemistry and find each other funny or interesting. I guess this is much like a relationship except its a friendship. there is no need for labels like BFF and what not to prove to the world or show off, but just something very simple as being present in one’s life. We have grown to the point where we dislike each other’s taste, but some things we can agree on. Mostly now, we agree to disagree which i think is the highest form of friendship. Now, we have known each other more then half our lives right? And i hope we will be still close even at 50, or 60.

Unlike others, I don’t have a bucket list or a list of things I want to do before 30. But it seems that I have done most of the things that people put as bucket list. I got married to Alvin, I travel to placed wherever I wanted, I started a business, I have good friends that stick by me. Health wise has been up and down, last year and this year mostly better. I found that as years go by, things actually get better although we tend to over think and over worry about the future. Perhaps as I get older, I find that if you want it you can go get it. But sometimes some things are not meant for you or not good for you. And life, it is hard to know or predict the future but whatever comes, if its opportunity, go for it. If it’s something you don’t like, leave it. I guess the best things I did was, One to date Alvin. Two to start my business. I hope in my 30s, there would be more of these best things I did and when I look back, I will not have regrets or what ifs.

Thank you Everyone who has been part of this 30 year journey.

There are some things I learnt nearing to 30, and also want to take it with me down the 30 road.

  • Not everything turns out the way you want it to be but thats ok, in the end everything that is good comes through and you will be happy with what you have
  • Patience, Time, things take a long time to flourish, in personal growth, in business
  • Friends come and go, a few who will always be by your side. Let go those who go
  • I struggled with this for long, wanting to look like others and be like them, better, more well to do, and wanting to be where they were. Everyone has their own path, so do i. I stopped looking at others and concentrating on myself
  • Creating the life that I want to live – this is the hardest part and the most challenging part that will always be on going. It is easy to follow the crowd, to do what others do. To break out in thoughts and in action so that I can be living the life I like
  • Go to church regularly because we all need fresh revelations and a touch of Jesus
  • Do Quiet time, because we can get caught up with work and things and our soul gets sucked dry
  • Celebrate occasions, because those are the times we remember the best
  • Explore, Unlearn, redefine, relearn – Always taking that step to learn things I don’t know, not being afraid to try, not being intimidated by foreign subjects and experience. This is something I am easing into right now
  • Take charge of your life, in terms of changing what you want, being better in things, go for courses for your career, no one will be more vested in you then yourself
  • Find the right kind of love, and the right kind of man who will give you that
  • Don’t do things or go to places you don’t enjoy, you can always use that time to do something you like
  • Trial and Error, nothing works fine the first time and it is ok to be wrong.
  • Assumptions can be wrong, but there’s always time to make new ones. I thought I liked something, or something was good. Turned out it was not too good.

 

To sum up, I am quite excited to see whats in store down the road here. And I think 30 onwards will be the best years of my life. Like how someone wished me “Happy birthday. 30 good, wah. I think 30-35 is a good age to be in, you are not too young and naïve, and not too old and senile.” Thank you, I think that is wonderful to know. Hehe. In my heart and mind, I am always still 24.

 

 

 

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I met up with Shu Ling that day, she always tells me stuff that makes me think and help to straighten up jumbled thoughts in structured order. I took away some stuff she shared and told me. One of which was how to decide easier. I asked her how does she do it? She chose between a good paying job and a job which interest her more but paid a lot less. (more then 20% less). How do you decide? I asked her, because I m also always stricken by what is practical and what makes sense vs. what I feel.

she shared with me that the good paying job would have been what she wanted 2 years ago, but not anymore. It would be something she would be working hard towards to actually get that sort of job. she grown out of the job or what she use to want. & now she would like to do something related to society and give back to society or for social good. So any decisions she make for jobs would go back to that as a basis which will make it easier for her to make decisions.

For life, she said that she would do things to meet the belief of her being happier this year then last, and better then the last. So anything she does goes back to this.

I thought it would be applicable to me to know what is my life philosophy, what I deem impt generally so it would be easy for me to decide on things – business, life, etc. It would be a much more efficient way then to keep rethinking on decisions. So this two weeks I have been pondering on it. I feel that it would also help me shape what I want my life to be and how I would live my life in the next 5 years.

This is in lieu of me turning 30. A number isn’t a big deal but being intentional is what I want to be. Not just float through the years like the first 3 years after graduating not knowing what I like, what I want, what I need to pursue.

In Business, Life, Relationships, Personal Growth, Giving back to society.

I did share with her that I might then seem rather superficial because what I want is only to be comfortable and that largely will come from being financially well to do. I feel generally everything I do, is to be comfortable in living my life. I would love to advice pp – I.e giving back to Society but I feel that I’m not quite ready and apt for it right now because I have not reached a certain level of “success”.

She told me that everyone has different wants and different things that will satisfy them, If it is what I want or think what I want, by all means go all the way and do whatever I can and everything I can to reach there, and then see if it’s really what satisfies and makes me fulfilled/ feel achieved. And no one can say it’s wrong or bad, because it’s very individual.

and if I can’t decide or pinpoint yet how I want to do things – all the above, then try the “world’s way” means everyone elses ways and see if I am comfortable with it, eventually I will come to form my own opinion and own way to do things (live my life, business etc.) that I find resonates / peaceful with myself.

Does everyone have a life philosophy as well?

Some of my friends have – be kind to others whenever they can. Some are travel as much as they can. (one wanted to travel to 50 countries or cities Before 30, and he’s done it) Some just worry as much as they can- just kidding! Some wants to date as much as they can (haha) maybe not anymore as we are at the age of wanting to just concentrate on one partner. Some are having family – many kids. Some are to make a difference in the world.

The point of this post is also that I want to be intentional in living my life. I think I have been rather this year, and i know that my life will be more intentional next year if I plan for it to do and achieve what I want. Life passes too fast, there’s no number (age) of doing something but this quote striked me because it reinforces that life is precious and you can live it wild (not sleep around) but beyond your imagination and fears.

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life.
– MARY OLIVER

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You know that feeling? I know.. now. That somehow right now, the feeling I have is like I am at ease, at peace where I am, at the right place at the right time. This moment, it feels like it is where I was meant to be.

I am just lying on my bed wondering how I could maximize my time doing operational and winding my knowledge reading. I got tons of books that I bought over the past 1 year and I told myself NOT to go kino anymore lest I end up buying another 10! Perhaps weekends should be spent reading more.

I finally am done with my full time job and it was really tough doing it and Just Tangy, because juggling both was demanding and took up a lot of my time & energy. I have my family to thank for helping me out, and understanding that half the time I was tired & grumpy. After 1.5 years I finally let go my full time job and going to concentrate on Just Tangy 110% now. Also, I didn’t have time to spend with family and friends, especially my grandparents – I hardly visited them during that time, and hardly met friends because I end work late and would be busy at night with Just Tangy, on weekends would be spending with Alvin & my own family and tending to Just Tangy as well. Even wedding preps, I didn’t do much & didn’t even research on things I like e.g wedding gown, look etc.

So with more time now, and the wedding nearer, I at least I have some time to breathe, rest my tired self that was working non stop for 1 year plus. I can’t even remember the last movie I watched. Also, alvin changed his job and he has more time now in the evenings and weekends. He used to work 6 to 7 days a week and 10 hours a day. So i am really happy that we get to spend more time now, and enjoying a more relaxed pace with everything. We now have time to go work out a little, hang out a little, take walks, explore some random new place, have dinner together. I guess little things in life like this could really make us happy. I really appreciate that both of us have more time to sit back a little now.

So yes, we are coming to the end of the year and God has really blessed us indeed.

And I must say that I know that running a business won’t be easy and isn’t easy as people think it might be – I felt insulted when people told me “oh, so you very free now” / “you are not really doing anything” / “you are not working what..” because I run my own business. Honestly, I was quite hurt by that type of comment, because it just means I have more flexibility over my time now and am not “very free”, or “lazy” because I work my hours a day, and a whole lot more things to do then a normal full time job. I told alvin and he’s like well they will never know, so ignore them. So yes I decided I shall just let them think that way, I guess it isn’t a bad thing if people think I can do “not much” & still run a sucessful one! People do work hard for their own businesses which nobody knows, because it’s all behind closed doors. :’)

Maybe in terms of work, if you know Steve jobs famous quote on work – “If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.”

Anyway, today I had this feeling of content, that I am where I was supposed to be, and it feels nice and peacefully. (Sorry I can’t explain it in a better way). Perhaps in terms of everything besides just work, I had initially thought it was just about work. But now I think it is about everything, and maybe I am starting to see how I want and envisioned my life to be like. I hope this feeling or whatever last for long long time.

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This year Christmas I decided to write cards for some of my loved ones- so i went to vivo over the weekend, picked out some cards and wrote them today.

It’s the most uneventful days leading up to Christmas compared to last year Mel & I brought Yoges to do some really horrendous things – to Strip for her birthday, to get a Brazilian wax. heh. After which we brought her to T&C. Same for Mel, I usually spend Christmas Day itself at her place with her family as we celebrate her birthday and Christmas together, and last year, after Christmas we went to artisque and painted a storm there – she loves art and stuff like that. so she ended up with 3 paintings as birthday present :*) hung on her wall supposedly or toilet as her dad allows it.

Where this year, it was much different, Mel is off in Europe with her family spending a Wintery cold Christmas, and me packing orders for the days leading to Christmas and crossing my fingers that the parcels all arrive in time for customers loved ones! It’s pretty wrecking and wondering if customers got their presents in time, especially those who ordered on Sunday, but I am especially happy when they email to say their Gf/Bf loves it etc.

I picked out Mel and Yoges birthday presents all by myself this year, cus both are busy anyway, and usually I don’t give Christmas gifts because I have no clue what to give them, so this year I just got then birthday gifts, and wrote a long ass message in their cards. I hope both of them love what I got, cross fingers. these days it’s hard to think of what to get them because we are all working now and can get whatever we fancy!

on the side note, it’s also my 6th Year anniversry with ah boy. this year I told him DONT make me anything!!! when we were still schooling, we made always made each other stuff using art n craft, but ever since I started working that want to make something just disappeared. we went to Wessex to eat at our fave restaurant pietsantra over the weekend as we will be going to my grandma place for dinner on Christmas Eve. And I liked that we were very casual – he asked why I was wearing home clothes. hahaha! it feels nice to be a long time couple where we just can be comfortable. We used to go Taos to celebrate sometimes but Wessex is our new favourite place now. if you’re going there – try the pasta with truffle and the lamb which they stew yummily! Plus the moscato they carry is my favorite, it has a honey sweet taste and lovely texture to it. After which we had Laurent Chocolate next door – a warm chocolate cake with ice cream. we talked about goodness knows what and came home after. I now appreciate the joy of going to a fave place of mine and having a satisfying dinner without hassle. I am not sure if that’s very alvin style but, that’s indeed very me. I hope it’s very “us” though.

and anyhow, I haven’t gotten him anything as well , nor have I thought of anything he could gift to me. sometimes I think perhaps we could take that money and put it into our life together fund – to save to get a car after we get married or something practical like that.

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sometimes things that Alvin say can surprise me. We were texting, I told him the dates which I was going to Bangkok, and he said okay, must be safe and becareful. I said okay maybe I will buy a SIM card this time, previously when I was with my family trip, I wanted to stay away from checking my phone all the time, so I didn’t get one and it helped me to rest. So he texted back, okay how much should I give you? I said why should you give me ? for me I thought I was going away so I should be buying it anyway. He said – so I can talk to you when your there.

This is our 6th year together and I am so so so blessed to have my husband to be (strange to call him that) to want to talk to me although I will be just gone a few days and even wanting to pay for my SIM for that. I feel strongly that this is what God has ordain marriage/ relationship to be, like WINE. it just gets better and better as years passes by. There’s nothing better then to let God work in your marriage / relationship. if you think that being together with the same person is boring and things get stale after many years, it doesn’t with God involved. :’)

He can turn your marriage / relationship from water to wine. Bland, boring, plain to intoxicating, special, precious.

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