I used to think being able to afford certain things in life and acquiring them will make me look like i’m successful or that I am successful. I had allowed material things and what people think of me matter more then what i think of myself. I’m moving into that healthier version where i buy because i like it and not to show or prove something. Having or not having slowly does not define me anymore. I also used to feel insecure if someone i perceived was wealthier than us means they are better us and think they would think we are not as well off.
I used to envy people who had good things, good opportunities, achieving things, and wished i was like this, why was i not. beneath these, i slowly realized that i have things they do not have, and many a times subconscious it was a choice to choose what i want, not choosing is also a choice by itself.
In the past, my friends & i used to love high end brands like Chanel and would love to own something, lately we use all but those. $2 tote bags, free cloth reuseable totes, that could fold conveniently or chucked aside or left on the floor or even have some gravy spilled inside, we no longer carry our pricey bags that sometimes can’t even fit all our barangs. Most times now, we even buy a look alike from Taobao because we like the design and it allows us just to throw it around without having to baby it so much.
It’s not age but the evolution of our maturity and wisdom that we see things for what really is important. I still like nice things, i like it that I don’t let it define me anymore.
I see this as growth, as a healthier version of myself.